Anyways, this was going to be something else but it got too much like a suicide note and all the random blog generator gave me was stuff that would have led me back to the friend post anyway, so here it is, Good Friends part II.
You Have No Name
Sorry about that but I'm 99% sure you don't read this anyway, so most of what I'm saying will be irrelevant to any reader and for that I don't have time to think of a suitable name. Plus, in the event that you do read it, I feel like only you should know it's about you.
We're friends under false pretences. I'm a lying bastard and you'd do better to forget about me. But no matter how shit a friend I am, you can't seem to give up on me. I thank you for your loyalty but I fear it is misplaced.
And I think I know why you won't let me go. No-one should be this loyal to a scumbag like me and so a small part of me thinks the rumours about us that circulated very quietly for a short while last year may be your secret desire. It feels like narcissism when I think that but at the same time I can't ignore the opinions of external observers who mostly seem to agree with me. I hope I'm wrong because although it will make me look a bit of a fool for writing all this, it would be better for everyone if you didn't love me.
On the other hand, if I'm correct in my assumptions, I know better than anyone the futility of telling you to forget about it. If I tell you to get over it, I'm the biggest hypocrite in the world because I have an immediate hatred of people who use those words to me.
I wish you'd just come out and say it. I know how hard that is, really I do, but you can count on me to handle it sensitively and I'd just like to know one way or another. If I'm right, maybe I can be a better friend in the future, if I'm wrong maybe I should seek help for my obvious narcissistic delusions. Either way, it could only have positive repercussions.
Behind Door #1
The third ex-housemate to get a mention. You've had a passing reference before but you've never read this blog, as far as I know. We were good friends before we moved in together but in all honesty you are the worst person to live with and I won't deny I hated you for a while. This vitriolic sentiment lasted long after we left the house but since Christmas time I've been reminded why we were friends in the first place and I'm willing to forget that you even lived in that house, thereby eradicating those bad feelings. You actually won me back at Grad Ball. Before you were drunk enough to marvel at my height, you showed a more compassionate side to yourself which I must admit I'd never witnessed, even before we lived together.
Still, I can't bring myself to show you as much respect as you might otherwise deserve. You told me about something you encountered on your travels and how you left it behind. Before I came to university I vowed that if necessary I'd travel even further than you did in pursuit of what you found. I was lucky, I didn't have to go to the other side of the world. But you gave your treasure up for no good reason, whereas the majority of my life in the last three years has been concentrated on preserving mine, even though I only know its location and not how to access it. Your lack of reverence for your own treasure and your reaction to me showing you my treasure map, leads me to pity you. You left your bounty for any passing pirate to plunder. At least I know mine is in safe hands, even if they're not my hands.
Behind Door #2
Well, we lived together for a year as well but I probably know you least well of all. It's a shame really, because we got on well but you disappeared when you got a girlfriend. Not that I blame you or her, I would have been exactly the same.
What is there to say really? I love you man, but I never see you these days. Mostly it's my own fault but I do miss your banter and general tekkers.
Oh and you look more like a bespectacled Tomasz Kuszczak than Russell Howard.
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Well, that's all for this time. Back in a few days with part III.
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