Although graduation is yet to happen, this feels like the final toll of the bell for university: the great move out begins. Well, obviously not right now because I'm blogging not packing but I would suspect that by the time most of you read this I'll be at home in the bosom of my family once more.
This is great because I really do like being with my family, hence why I go to see them every weekend. They are the first friends I had and even though living in such close proximity to three other people can get testing, I wouldn't ever want to move too far away. On the other hand, last night was such a good one that when I finally wandered back to my room with dawn breaking around me, leaving my mates behind me it felt like marching towards death
This room, in which I have now slept for the last time, has witnessed so much emotion. This little hide-away, my inner sanctum, has allowed me to remove myself from the world whilst remaining in touching distance of it. Now I'm going back into solitary confinement in the prison that is life and I've done my share of that. I don't want to be that guy any more.
Random chance has seen fit to land me in a situation where I thought I'd never be. If I had the money I would now be more than willing to move away from Chesterfield. I always envisioned the day when I leave home but I never thought I'd want to go more than a few miles away. Most of my family live in that town and the closeness that comes from this is amazing. The one person who ever moved away was like me in a sense, she's the only one of my family I know who went to uni and when her course ended she just stayed where she was. The major difference is, it wasn't to be near mates because as far as I can tell she's not got any. She also clearly has very little love for the rest of the family, so the only role model I have in this moving away business is a terrible one.
Of course, even returning to the place where I've had such good times won't cease the endless march of time. If I come back to Leeds, a lot of the awesome people I know here will have dispersed, and I can't rule out the possibility of more leaving in the future.
This is the problem with becoming attached to human beings, they have lives of their own and can be wild and unpredictable at times.
You know, a lot of this blog has been how I don't want to leave uni because of being in love with a fellow student, but I'm used to living with a love unrequited, almost from the moment I start playing the game of love I'm prepared to lose. I'm sure someone's using loaded dice. At the death I find the thing I really can't do without is the other people, the most important people to me right now are not the ones I vowed to walk the whole world to find, but the ones I didn't even know I was looking for.
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