Forgive me. I don't think you'll come back here again but should you ever stop by, this will be the message you see. This blog wasn't ever about you but it kept going for so long because of you. Letters to my best friend is what it was, really. I was so happy that day when you said that you were relating to what I was writing and the memory of that is what kept me coming back. Newer evidence suggests that the ensuing conversations may have been just a pack of half-truths but I was never 100% honest on that score either and being your friend rocked so much I just don't care anyway. There was one thing I wanted to tell you (well, two I guess) but never got the chance. It would probably have been futile anyway, it turns out, but maybe it's fitting that this blog ends with me saying that I loved you once, for a while.
I never had the desire to act on that (for God knows how many reasons and at least partially because of the second thing I never got to tell you) but there it is.
I wronged you and that hurts me more than it could possibly have hurt you. I deserve your ire. I didn't mean what I think you thought I meant but that doesn't matter, I said it and it upset you. I'm trying to be a better man, hopefully one day you'll find out that I am and I can tell you the other thing in person. I feel like we'd have been a shit load closer if I'd told you the other thing when I first found it out but there you go.
Anyway, you know who you are and you know where I am if you can ever forgive me.
